chazacide

Chaz Hemingway

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Sanctity by chazacide, literature

Literature

Sanctity

My shattered reflection betrays the illusion as my vision cracks like the mirror in my head. It won't give up until I'm dead. These forsaken cries, inside my head. I've spent so long wandering wasting time on futility. I've spent too long wondering why I go on like this. There is no place I can go, there is no place I can hide. No matter how far I run there is no sanctity of mind. My shattered reflection betrays the illusion as my vision cracks like the mirror in my head. It won't give up until I'm dead. These forsaken cries, inside my head. There is no place I feel home, there is no place I can cry. No matter how far I

Sweeter than pain by chazacide, literature

Literature

Sweeter than pain

Three days gone my eyes are bleeding fire. Pulled to you like moths to a funeral pyre. All you do is make me feel ill. When the time comes, you'll wish you were in hell. I hope you burn, and flail and scream. But the pain you'll feel won't mean a thing. To me. You say that I fill all your needs, but you want more than me. So when it's time I say goodbye I hope you fucking cry. Your words are lies, and everything that you say dies. If only I could realize that all your words are lies. All you do is make me feel ill. When the time comes, you'll wish you were in hell. I hope you burn, and flail and scream. But the pain you'll

Everything by chazacide, literature

Literature

Everything

My Religion is Morrison and Lennon, Kobain and Diana Ross. My Religion is The Mind and Indivuduality, Kubrick and Polanski. My Religion is Art and Love, Bjork and Iron Butterfly. My Religion is Geiger and Dali, Creedence Clearwater and Queen. My Religion is Commonality and Differences, Manson and Mozart. My Religion is The Soapbox and The People Who Stand Upon It, Times Past and Changes Wrought. My Religion is You, Me, Everyone; Woodstock and Revolutions. My Religion will Never Fall, My God is Chaos. My Religion is, Your Religion is, Everything.

The Golden Unleaving by chazacide, literature

Literature

The Golden Unleaving

I was unprepared for the loss and my heart dispaired at my cross. The answers we seek to questions not formed give us the reason to continue in this storm. Stop my grieving over golden groves unleaving. My heart is growing older seeing such sights colder. So long has the mind considered the passing of life. So great the cruel mistake now when I leave. I was unprepared for the loss and my heart dispaired at my cross. Last you sigh as I weep and know why. All share the sad name, sorrow's springs all the same. Our love not expressed, beyong what heart had guessed. This is the blight I'm born for, you are what I mourn for

Silence by chazacide, literature

Literature

Silence

Clambouring behind my eyes, living off of all my lies; digging, scratching in my head making me wish I was dead. Their silence is the loudest sound; screeching, screaming all around. I can hear them, why can't you? Their silence is the only clue. I feel them burning in my brain, leaving me their filthy stain. Laughing at my biggest fears, spilling silence from my tears. Their silence is the loudest sound; screeching, screaming all around. I can hear them, why can't you? Their silence is the only clue. Crawling up and down my spine, making me feel not so mine. Patience, patience they recite, leading me away from light. Thei

Pieces by chazacide, literature

Literature

Pieces

I keep searching for, but never find that simple little piece of mind. And in the end I think I'll die cuz it's too hard to live this lie. Everything is so fucked up and life demands way too much. Roots thread across the ground brambles scratch all around. Branches claw down at my face, and I just can't keep the pace. Why don't you just kill me now instead; just stop fucking inside my head. Just go away and leave me to die and peacefully may I lie. I keep searching for, but never find that simple little piece of mind. And in the end I think I'll die cuz it's too hard to live this lie. All the times I lay awake all I see i

Surreality by chazacide, literature

Literature

Surreality

The demons come right in, when my veins are open. Your fighting takes my skin, as my heart is broken. Your hate encompasses reality. Familiarity breeds this fantasy. When angels fall and demons crawl your mind becomes a wall. Can't find a way through light of day to get through it all. The demons come right in, when my veins are open. Your fighting takes my skin, as my heart is broken. Your hate encompasses reality. Familiarity breeds this fantasy. When devils cry and people die my light becomes the dark. As wars are fought while peace is sought my soul snuffs out it's spark. The demons come right in, when my vein

Lost by chazacide, literature

Literature

Lost

Everything I've found I lost. Every time I live I die. Everything I see goes dark. Every time I love I cry. Fuck this world, and fuck this life. Fuck you bitch, I hope you die. Why does it go on like this? Why such pain upon your kiss? Take this pain from off my mind, blind your love into my eyes. Everything I've found I lost. Every time I live I die. Everything I see goes dark. Every time I love I cry. Fuck this world, and fuck this life. Fuck you bitch, I hope you die. You're not here, it drives me mad. All I want is to be dead. Take these stitches out, my love. Leave me be in my own blood. Everything I've found I lost.

Don't by chazacide, literature

Literature

Don't

don't you Don't you? Don't You? DON'T YOU??? Can't let out the anger built up deep inside. Can't let out the feelings cuz people just might die. Shoved down deep and hid from light boiling to the surface. Show you what I have inside anger without purpose. You wanna see me cry, don't you? Don't you?! You wanna see me die, don't you? Don't you?! Want me to eat your lies don't you? Don't you?! Well I won't, I won't, I won't, I Won't, I WON'T!!! Can't let out the sadness just beneath my skin. If I want to keep me sane I just can't let you in. Bottled up and stowed away waiting to get out. Everything you've thrown at me

Tight Rope by chazacide, literature

Literature

Tight Rope

Walking a tight rope, feeling fine. Got plenty of time for another line. Carpet surfing through the waves. Tides roll in and out with raves. And I want to... And I need to... And I love to love you... But I have to... But I need to... But you make me hate you... Walking a tight rope, losing my mind. Just enough time for another line. Now I'm flying through the sky. You can't see me I'm so high. And I want to... And I need to... And I love to love you... But I have to... But I need to... But you make me hate you... My habit's got the best of me it's eating my time. My thoughts are running out on me I'm losing my

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Atrocity by chazacide, literature

Literature

Atrocity

Mary is a virgin whore, don\'t believe her anymore. Jesus\' mother fucked my dad, doesn\'t that just make you sad? Some do it fast, some do it slow. Some do it high, some do it low. I do it on the floor with God who\'s just a rent-to-own whore. Mary had her son aborted, Jesus\' father got deported. Daddie wept to flood the land; Mary didn\'t understand. Thousands drowned in blood and sin cuz she wouldn\'t let him in. Promises to spare the rod; hollow as the O in G O D. Some do it fast, some do it slow. Some do it high, some do it low. I do it on the floor with God who\'s just a rent-to-own whore. Earth turned int

The state Between by chazacide, literature

Literature

The state Between

The state Between then now. (recalling) Pushing me in the tire swing, joyful. Playing your guitar, beautiful. Making cabbage salad, unmistakable. The way your face lit up, wonderful. The state Between remembered forgotten. (pictures) Visiting the Easter Bunny, grinning. On your Harley in the yard, posing. Family at Christmas, playing. The cabin Up North in autumn, relaxing. The state Between celebrating grieving. (emptiness) Your chair cold, alone. Your bedroom empty, impersonal. Meals cloaked in silence, ab

Desolate by chazacide, literature

Literature

Desolate

You\'ll always lie and always try. You have no soul; a big black hole. Your sins insanes, your pins and pains, would never let you say goodbye. You\'re DeSoLaTe inside. The voices say that soon you\'ll pay. Try as you might won\'t win the fight. Your sins insanes, your pins and pains, will never make it go away. You\'re DeSoLaTe inside. Your parents cry, watch as you die. Get torn asunder, and hauled under. Your sins insanes, your pins and pains, Shall never stop your lengthy sigh. You\'re DeSoLaTe inside. No break of day, don\'t dare to pray. You\'re damned and dead, inside y

Ameri Co by chazacide, literature

Literature

Ameri Co

Manufactured souls. Designer drugs. Expensive labels. Missionary moms. Sing my song, revel in hate. It won\'t be long cuz God\'s too late. A million parents. A billion patents. A trillion portents. Only one end. Come inside, it\'s fun to hate. You just died, so why the wait? He took the world, like 6 billion pills. We killed our God with all our ills. I\'m so sad God is dead. I\'m so bad (he gave me head). I\'m so mad God is dead. I\'m so glad his blood runs red.

Godman by chazacide, literature

Literature

Godman

He killed himself today. No one cared to pray. We can make a new god. We dance upon the old god. A brand new paper mache god. A sticks and stones and bones god. We all praise the Godman The camera makes a new god. A better druggie false god. A brand new perfect good god. A harder to corrupt god. We all praise the Godman God is dead, god is dead, praise the lord, the pigs are fed. God is dead, god is dead, his suicide is left unsaid. The people want a new god. Another riper dead god. A brand new leading head god. A stupid bleeding heart god. We all praise the Godman The laymen need a red god. A vengeful evil hate god. A

Leaving You by chazacide, literature

Literature

Leaving You

I\'m leaving you. I know we\'re through. But I don\'t care, don\'t care if you\'re angry. Every day the things you say get in my way, and now you\'ll pay. Standing in front getting all you want. You say you can\'t but you just won\'t. I\'m leaving you. I know we\'re through. But I don\'t care, don\'t care if it hurts me. In state of daze, a kind of maze, a cov\'ring haze within your ways. The way you pout when you\'re shut out tells me your clout is bout run out. I\'m leaving you. I know we\'re through. But I don\'t care, don\'t care if you don\'t see. You make me wait and fuel my hate. Now I can\'

Momentarily by chazacide, literature

Literature

Momentarily

For a while I was free from the bonds of depression. Now the walls close in and shackles bind my wrists. For a while I was free, then I saw your face. I saw you laughing, having fun without me. For a while I was free, I never should have told you. Your knowing didn\'t make it better, you only left my side. For a while I was free, I didn\'t think about you once. For only a week I lived, but now I\'m dead again. For a while I was free, but only momentarily.

Roll-takers by chazacide, literature

Literature

Roll-takers

We are, we are, something you\'ll never see. We are, we are, something you\'ll never beat. We are, we are, your death so run away. Cuz you won\'t FUCKING live to see another day. You hear us come, you hear us leave. When we\'re gone you\'ll rest in peace. Won\'t hear us pray, won\'t hear us prey. Won\'t live to see another day. Don\'t wait for us, don\'t pray for us. We\'ll come when we can catch a bus. You pay the toll, we take the roll. Your timely death is our main goal. We are, we are, something you\'ll never see. We are, we are, something you\'ll never beat. We are

Definition religious God by chazacide, literature

Driven by chazacide, literature

Literature

Driven

Cowardly they say, call it a choice. Don\'t understand. (never will) Pain more than joy, sorrow overwhelming. Don\'t feel. (never can) Desperate act, forced into it. Don\'t cry. (never helps) Choices can change, this: unavoidable. Don\'t hurt. (never good) Easy way out, really very hard. Don\'t cut. (never ends) Driven into it, they forced me. Don\'t live. (never changes)

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Lost On Various Extremes by tabbsux, literature

Literature

Lost On Various Extremes

Contemplating all things evil, I am no match for anyone else, As I sit and think of this pill, How I wish it was something else, How I wanted it to bring the end, As I dream of drowning in cyanide, But what\'s past has come to an end, And now my dream...full of pride, For the first time again, I think about a girl and nothing else, It feels right all over again, Again she\'s like no one else, But will I fall down, Like after all the ones that came before, Choking on misery while I drown, Am I in too deep, Am I in over my head or... Is she as perfect as in my head, I close my eyes and sleep again, Wishing you were here next

Deviation Spotlight

The state Between by chazacide, literature

Literature

The state Between

chazacide

About chazacide

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United States
Deviant for 20 years
He / Him

Badges

My Bio

Current Residence: Michigan's garbage can
Favourite genre of music: Loud and Fast
Favourite photographer: utoks
Operating System: Mac os 9.0
MP3 player of choice: iPod
Favourite cartoon character: Alucard (Hellsing)
Personal Quote: Jesus bows his head and cries, but cannot cry for me...

Favourite Visual Artist

foxjane

Favourite Movies

Donnie Darko, 28 Days Later, Dancer in the Dark

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

NIN, Manson, MSI, KoRn, The Faint

Favourite Writers

Dante, Frost, Lumley, King, Elliot

Favourite Games

Doom 3

Favourite Gaming Platform

Computer

Tools of the Trade

Pencil, Paper, Pen

Other Interests

guys, poetry, physics, philosophy, drugs

Posts

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chazacide

Nov 25, 2004

Even longer time, no type...

0 min read

WOW, do I hate college.....  I haven't written practically ANYTHING since I've moved down here...  Oh well, the fall and winter is starting to bring out an urge to be artistic.  My longing for my dragon-baby to be near me is helping too.  Currently working on a poem dedicated to leaves...  Posted the few that I have done since the move, and a scrap I'm working on.  Found someone else on here who is an AWESOME photographer ==>  http://utoks.deviantart.com   Well, that's all for now.  Hopefully I will be posting more soon. ChAzZy

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chazacide

Nov 13, 2003

Long time, no type...

0 min read

Hello all who care to read, I haven't been on in a LOOONG time... Oh well, peeps got lives to live. But i am back, and I should have many more deviations submitted soon!

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chazacide

Sep 3, 2003

Blah...

0 min read

I spend all of my time down in the park; reading, smoking, writing, daydreaming, thinking...  I am SO boring.  But I have a job and the money is trickling in.  I wrote three more poems, but as usual they are uninspired crap.  Oh well.

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Profile Comments 12

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dark-writing

Nov 10, 2003

AS OF NOV 11TH YOU WILL NO LONGER BE A MEMBER OF THE DARK WRITINGS.

If wish to re-apply for membership please fell free. A new director has taken over and is cleaning out non-participative members.

Good day to you.

foxjane

Aug 19, 2003

~chazacide
Chaz Hemingway

* is a Shadow Deviant
* is a deviant since Jul 17, 2003, 1:02 PM
* has 200 pageviews
* is located in United States
* last visited 1w 2d 8h 47m 19s ago
* is currently
* is an AIM user; chazacide

YAY!

lillycalin

Aug 4, 2003

i adore your deviation 'the state between' the older look, with the blue just looks so good.

foxjane

Aug 3, 2003

~chazacide
Chaz Hemingway
.. is a Shadow Deviant
.. is a deviant since Jul 17, 2003
.. has 150 pageviews
.. is located in United States
.. last host was dialup-*.dial1.detroit1.level3.net
.. is currently
.. AIM: chazacide

Heart

foxjane

Aug 2, 2003

I was listening to Manson on The Matrix Reloaded soundtrack and thought of you. Hug

Sorry I've been so busy lately! :( (Sad)

i like your gallery.

I love my favorite fag! :) (Smile)